


Let Me Be Part of the Narrative

by fantasyworld



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Body Swap AU, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 20:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5512760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasyworld/pseuds/fantasyworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The body she stared down at was not her own, but that of a rather tall teenaged boy. She threw the comforter off of her and ran over to the mirror that hung over the dresser on the far side of the room. A gasp escaped her borrowed lips as she stared into the steel-grey eyes of a boy she hadn’t seen in person in nearly two years.</p><p>Body-Swap AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Be Part of the Narrative

**Day 1**

 

As a bedside alarm blared to life, Satomi had the very distinct feeling that she hadn’t gotten very much sleep. Or at the very least, not much rest. That hadn’t been anything noteworthy for her as of late. The concept of full night’s rest was often lost on her, thanks to the frequent stress she was under. She slowly opened her eyes, only to find that she was in a room completely unfamiliar to her. Now on high-alert, her eyes scanned the room for any sort of indication as to where she was and how she got there. She remembered going to bed the night before in her apartment, with a forecast of unseasonably early snow-showers thanks to the cooler air in Akita. She had even taken one of her favorite scarves out of storage for the following morning upon reading it. But after she had gone to bed, Satomi couldn’t remember anything, and she was a rather light sleeper. She slowly shifted in bed, and realized her body felt quite a bit heavier than she was used to, even after just waking. Her gaze dropped down to her torso, and what she saw almost made her scream, had she not quickly covered her mouth. The body she stared down at was not her own, but that of a rather tall teenaged boy. She threw the comforter off of her and ran over to the mirror that hung over the dresser on the far side of the room. A gasp escaped her borrowed lips as she stared into the steel-grey eyes of a boy she hadn’t seen in person in nearly two years.

“Shuzo,” she whispered, surprised despite herself to hear his voice when she did. She scanned the room once more, quickly spotting a cellphone on the bedside table, and flicked through the contacts for her own name. The phone rang three times before the tone clicked.

“This had better be important,” her own voice snapped from the other end, followed by a choked sound that she could only mark as confusion.

“I can assure you, it is,” she answered smoothly, despite the way her free hand was starting to tremble.

“What the hell?”

“I wish I knew. And I do apologize for waking you, but I think you’ll agree that-”

“Don’t bullshit me right now. Satomi?”

“You’re fortunate I live alone, or someone might be concerned by the language you’re using. But yes. Shuzo, I don’t know what happened.” She heard the sound of shifting on the other end of the phone, a click that meant he had turned on her bedroom light, and a strangled squeak that Satomi could only assume meant he had looked down to see the sleepwear she’d been in when she’d gone to bed. She honestly couldn’t recall what she’d chosen, beyond the fact that it must have been a simple pajama set. At least it was modest. She looked down at her own attire for the first time, and took note of the sweatpants and white T-shirt adorning her borrowed body

“Whatever this is, we’ll have to figure it out without anyone else finding out about it,” Satomi’s stern voice insisted from the other end of the phone. She was pleased to hear Shuzo so level-headed about the situation. She needed that, if they were both going to survive this with as few blunders as possible. “We’ll have to pretend to be each other.”

“Then you’re fortunate that softball season has been over. You won’t have to live up to my batting average. I doubt I can match your speed in basketball, but my own skill should suffice for the time being.”

“I only play street ball anyway. You’ll have to adapt my mannerisms, though.”

“As will you,” she countered. “Any slip of the tongue could give you away.”

“You’ll have to act like you’re actually part of my family.” Satomi froze, and Shuzo could tell that he’d hit a soft spot for her. He softened his tone, and it sounded strange to be coming from Satomi’s own voice. “Hey, it’ll be fine. Just act like it’s you and your brother before all that bullshit happened.”

“That may be easier said than done, Shuzo. And please, watch your language while you’re in my body.”

“I know you don’t like to open up much, but I know you can. And stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Drumming your fingers on my dresser.” Satomi stopped the motion she hadn’t even realized she was doing. “You do that when you’re stressed. We’ll figure this out, I promise.” Satomi took a deep breath. She hadn’t realized just how unsteady she had felt until Shuzo tried to assure her.

“Do you have any idea how?” she asked.

“No. But I know someone who might.”

“Shuzo! Are you up?” a voice called from outside the bedroom, and it took everything in Satomi not to jump out of her skin.

“You better go,” he said from the other end of the phone. “Kaa-san will have a fit if you don’t answer her. Take care, Satomi.”

“You too,” she whispered before shutting off the phone and throwing her voice towards the door. “I’m up!”

“Well hurry up or you’re going to be late to school.” And with that, the footsteps receded and Satomi found herself alone again. Shaking her head, she squared her shoulders and set about getting ready for the day. She pointedly kept her thoughts _away_ from the fact that she was currently residing within the male body of someone she had feelings for.

Satomi very quickly found herself texting Shuzo for assistance when she realized she would need to get him to school and through his classes. He was, thankfully, very quick with his responses and detailed enough that Satomi could get herself onto the bus in the morning and to his high school before the bell rang. Where she started to unravel was when other students started talking to her, and she could only assume that they were friends of Shuzo’s. He rarely talked about his friends from school, with the exception of Himuro Tatsuya before he’d moved back to Japan and started attending Yosen with her and Murasakibara.

“Shu, you alright?” a boy asked, and Satomi quickly steered her thoughts back to the task at hand. “You’re kinda spacing out.”

“I’m fine,” she answered easily, her English flawless if with a bit of an accent. She hoped it wasn’t any more than Shuzo had himself when he spoke.

“How’s your dad been?”

“He, ah…” Satomi trailed off, unsure what to say. She knew Shuzo’s father had been ill for quite some time, but he never seemed very forthcoming on the matter. She didn’t want to assume the worst, but didn’t want to pry if it was something that would upset him.

“Shut up, Chad,” another boy hissed, driving his elbow into the first’s side. He turned to Satomi. “Don’t worry about it, man. We hope he’s doing alright.”

“I… Thank you,” Satomi answered, hating how she wasn’t in control of herself and the situation. She turned her gaze to the board as the teacher began with a literature lesson, and was thankful to have the distraction from her new classmates.

—

Hours later, on the other side of the world, Shuzo reawakened in the same room he had seen when he’d gotten the phone call in the middle of the night. _Not a dream_ , he thought lamely before rolling out of bed and getting ready for school. He had to pretend to be Satomi, which was a bit more daunting of a task than he had let on when he spoke to her. He hadn’t wanted to worry her, but he wasn’t sure how well he would pull it off. She was so reserved around everyone but him. It would be difficult to gauge how much he could let through. He hurriedly went through the motions of getting ready, struggling with a bra for a good ten awkward minutes before finally deciding to ‘fuck it’ and wear a sports bra under Satomi’s school uniform. It wasn’t particularly comfortable, but he could still move relatively easily in it so he figured that had to count for something. When he’d texted Satomi instructions for going through his school day, she had responded in kind, noting that everything he should need would be in her school bag. _Thank God_.

As Shuzo made his way towards school, he found himself being intercepted by two _very_ familiar faces. One was a damn near giant of a freshman, with purple hair and a lazy expression on his face. He couldn’t believe how much taller Murasakibara had gotten in the past couple of years, and knew he couldn’t attribute much of the difference to the fact that Satomi was shorter than himself. The other was a face he hadn’t seen in a number of months, since Tatsuya had moved to Japan. He had to stop himself from performing the handshake the two of them had come up with back in the States.

“Good morning, Satomi-chan,” Tatsuya greeted easily, and Shuzo found himself fighting back a scowl. He knew Tatsuya talked like that to everyone, but he couldn’t quite stop the jealous streak in him.

“Good morning, Tatsuya-kun, Atsushi-kun,” he greeted, thankful that he’d at least been able to pick up on the majority of Satomi’s speech pattern. At least in the way she referred to others.

“Sato-chin looks sleepy,” Murasakibara commented, one eyebrow raised, but he seemed largely disinterested.

“It’s nothing you need to concern yourselves with. Let’s go.” And just like that, Shuzo had easily slipped right into the persona that was Akashi Satomi, with her no-nonsense attitude and brisk manner of speaking. He almost couldn’t believe how easy it was to copy her mannerisms, walking in perfect stride ahead of both boys. He wondered if it had anything to do with all the time they’d spent talking to each other, and how much they had interacted together in middle school.

 

**Day 2**

 

“Shuzo, can you come here please?” Nijimura’s mother asked, and it still took Satomi a split second to remember that she was supposed to answer to that name. She hurried into the kitchen, where Nijimura Misaki was peeling onions under the running tap. There were tears in her eyes, and Satomi wasn’t certain if they were from the vegetable or not. “I didn’t want to say this in front of your siblings, but you’re old enough to know.” Satomi _really_ didn’t like where this was going. “You know your father’s condition has been declining for a while now.” There was a hiccup in Misaki’s voice and Satomi flinched. It had been so long since she’d been around someone crying. She honestly didn’t remember how to handle it.

“Kaa-san,” she tried, reaching out uselessly to rest a hand on the woman’s shoulder. Misaki shut off the water and patted the hand that belonged to her son.

“The doctors say he doesn’t have much longer. I didn’t want to say anything about it, but… Shuzo, he’s at the end. The doctors give him less than a week.” Satomi froze and there was a stinging in her eyes that she hadn’t felt in long enough that it felt foreign. Misaki wrapped her arms around her, drawing her into a hug that reminded Satomi that she was in a body that was not her own, by the way she had to bend down to reach the woman’s shoulder. Gentle fingers carded through her hair, and Satomi found herself taking deep, steadying breaths to keep from panicking. She supposed it can be seen as grieving to the eyes of a mother. She honestly didn’t know what to do. How could she possibly be here when Shuzo’s father may pass away any day? Wasn’t this where _he_ should be? With his family like he always wanted? That was why he had quit basketball in the first place.

“I… I need to lie down,” Satomi murmured, unable to think of much else. She needed to call Shuzo. She needed to tell him what was happening. He couldn’t be allowed to remain ignorant to his father’s condition.

“Please, don’t tell your siblings. We’re going to visit your father in the hospital tomorrow. Try and put on a brave face for them, okay?” Satomi wanted to scowl at the request. How _dare_ she place such a burden on Shuzo’s shoulders? It felt akin to the way her father had conditioned her for so many years to defer always to Seijuro. She felt like she couldn’t breathe most days, and today was no different now that this request had been placed upon her. She did nothing but nod and quietly walk off to Shuzo’s bedroom. As soon as the door was shut behind her, she reached for the cellphone and called her own number, time difference be damned. Shuzo didn’t answer at first, so she kept calling. Over and over, until finally the line clicked open.

“You really shouldn’t do that if you want to keep your spotless reputation,” her own voice griped at her in lieu of a proper greeting. Satomi wondered what the news would do to that defiant voice. Would Shuzo be able to handle it? Would he fall apart in the middle of—she checked the clock and did the math in her head— science class and be forced to leave school? She took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to speak. Nothing came forth. “Hey, what’s the matter?” There was that kind, gentle tone that sounded so foreign in her voice. It never quite sounded right in his voice either, but it seemed more fitting when she’d learned of his two younger siblings. Even more so now that she had met them in person.

“You never told me about your father’s condition,” she whispered. It was the only thing she could think to say. There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before Shuzo let out a deep sigh.

“He’s not well. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about that yesterday. Did you go and see him today?”

“No. We’re going tomorrow. Shuzo, your mother says he is dying.” The sound of swallowing on the other end of the phone. Silence. Finally a quiet sniffle and the shuffling of clothing, likely to wipe away errant tears. Shuzo was the one taking a shuddering breath this time, and it sounded much less foreign than it should with Satomi’s throat and lungs behind it. That sound, she was used to. She’d heard it enough times from herself in the aftermath of Seijuro’s change in Teiko.

“I know,” Shuzo answered, and the voice is low and hoarse, like he was still fighting tears. “I know that already. Please, don’t remind me.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Unless you want me to ruin your perfect record, I suggest you stop now.”

“I don’t _care_ about my record,” Satomi hissed, and she sounded a lot harsher than she had intended to. In fact, she wondered, when had she _stopped_ caring about her attendance record? It was perfect, just like everything she had ever done.

“But _your_ father does. We can talk about this later.” And with that, Shuzo hung up on her. Satomi stared at the phone with a blank expression, until a drop of water landed on it out of nowhere. It took her longer than she would have liked to realize that she was crying. And even longer than that to realize that she was grieving _for_ Shuzo. She didn’t want for him to be going through this, least of all an ocean away from his family. He should have been here. He should be able to have a mother who will embrace him, and perhaps ask impossible things of him but only because she cares. He should be able to say farewell to his father, even if only one last time.

—

Shuzo was still trembling and had to fight every instinct in his borrowed body that said to hum the cellphone into the tile of the girls’ bathroom. He wasn’t even supposed to be _on_ it in school, but Satomi was nothing if not insistent. And to hear what she was implying… he couldn’t take it. He refused to think of the condition his father was in. He was too far away from home right now. Shuzo leaned back against a wall, tilting his head up to the ceiling and took another calming breath. He prayed to every high power he could think of that his father would live long enough for him to figure out how to come back. The door suddenly opened as a pair of girls walked in, and a startled expression fell over their faces as they took in what appeared to them as Akashi Satomi with tears in her eyes.

“Akashi-senpai,” one of them started nervously, but Shuzo squared his shoulders and walked forward without so much as acknowledging them. Right now, he had a job to do. He had to keep Satomi’s reputation—and record— intact. He could grieve later.

“So glad you could rejoin us, Akashi-san,” the teacher noted when Shuzo took his seat back in the science lab.

“There was an important family matter I needed to attend to,” he answered with an ease and authority he had no right to possess, but the instructor actually looked sheepish and returned to his lecture. If there was one thing the Akashi name was good for, it was getting out of petty trouble.

 

**Day 3**

 

Satomi stared at the frail man in the hospital bed with a tight-lipped expression. Her job was to act strong, for the sake of Misaki and Shuzo’s two younger siblings. So she kept her mouth shut except when directly spoken to, and tried not to notice the way Nijimura Isamu kept looking at her with an amused sort of smile on his lips. Even while dying, he seemed to find something funny. Satomi wasn’t sure if that was admirable, or just sad. She didn’t make any comment on it.

“Misaki, dear, let me speak with Shuzo alone for a bit. Man to man?” the sickly man insisted. Misaki opened her mouth to protest, but glanced between Satomi and her husband and quickly ushered the younger children out of the room. Satomi wasn’t sure if it was because of the pleading in Isamu’s words, or the way she had been keeping her face trained throughout the visit. As soon as the door was shut, Satomi opened her mouth, but Isamu held up a finger to stop her. He listened closely as the footsteps retreated before speaking. “You can’t fool a dying man, you know.”

“What are you talking about, Tou-san?” Satomi asked, trying to keep her voice sounding as much like Shuzo’s manner of speech. His father was having none of it.

“Don’t call me that if you don’t mean it. I know my son. You’re not him.” Satomi looked away briefly, tempted to look behind herself, before staring back into the eyes of the dying man.

“You’re correct, but that leaves me to wonder _how_ you know.”

“Do I get a name from you first?” Satomi could see where Shuzo got the majority of his personality from. It was no wonder he was so close to his father.

“Akashi Satomi. I was in Shuzo’s class in Teiko. Every year.”

“Ah, so you saw that stupid blond phase of his.” Isamu tried to laugh, but it resulted in a coughing fit that lasted for a good minute. “You’re that girl he always talked about, aren’t you? The rich girl from a powerful family, who really had no business hanging around a slum kid like him.” Satomi figured she must have looked as affronted as she felt, because Isamu raised a hand to stop her from responding. “I’m glad you aren’t the way I thought you were.” Now Satomi stared at him with a mildly perplexed expression.

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t expect you to. Most people don’t know or talk about this thing. This here, what you’re doing here in my son’s place, it’s rare. Only happens with soul mates. And even then, it doesn’t happen often.”

“Forgive me if I have difficulty believing in soul mates,” she answered.

“Then why the hell did you show up on my doorstep and confide in my son when your world went to shit?” Satomi didn’t have an answer for that. She hated the way she could only stare dumbly at him. “Didn’t think I knew about that, did you? Point is, this is a thing that happens every once in a while, when there’s about to be a crippling loss for one of them. I’m dying. I’m not going to try and deny it. I’m not stupid. Shuzo knows it too, but he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he were here. It would break him. You and I both know that, don’t we, Satomi-san?” She didn’t even have to think. Satomi nodded with a heavy sigh. She hated to think of what Shuzo would be like if he were here right now, staring at the dying body of his father. Of a man who probably seemed stronger than all others. Satomi had gone through the loss of her mother when she was younger, but the memory still stung. She absently rubbed at her chest, just above her heart.

“My mother died when I was twelve,” she whispered. “Why didn’t we trade places then?”

“Did it break you?”

“You don’t know the life I’ve lived.”

“But did it break you?” Satomi was silent. “You’ve got a stronger resolve. You know how to deal with the pain of loss better than Shuzo does. He hasn’t learned it yet.”

“He never will at this rate.”

“Do you want him to?” Isamu asked pointedly, and Satomi didn’t even think before vehemently shaking hear head. She had heard the brokenness in Shuzo’s voice the day before on the phone. She didn’t want to ever hear him like that again if she could avoid it. “You love my son, don’t you?”

“I… I’m very fond of him.”

“Cut the crap. I told you not to try and fool a dying man.” Satomi had the distinct feeling that if he had the strength, Isamu would have sat up and flicked her in the forehead like Shuzo had done so many times in the past. “Do you love my son or don’t you? You’re his soul mate, but I want to hear the words from you.”

“Yes. I do. I struggle to admit it, but you are correct. Is that all you wanted to hear, Nijimura-san?”

“Don’t get smart with me, brat.” He sounded strong. Perhaps this was his last good day? She had read about them before, when referring to people with terminal illnesses. They had one last good day, and they never knew when it would be. It was rarely so soon before passing. Perhaps the doctors were wrong? “Do me a favor and take care of Shuzo when I’m gone. He’s going to need you.”

“What makes you so certain I’ll be able to help?”

“I told you, you’re strong. You can teach him how to handle it.”

“Shouldn’t he be the one that’s here? How can this possibly be fair?”

“Fair? You should know by now that life ain’t fair. You’re here because Shuzo _can’t_ be. Not unless you want to learn the feeling of losing him too.” Isamu let his words hang in the air for a moment, and Satomi suddenly felt violently ill from what he was implying. She reached for the waste bin and dry heaved for a moment before she could compose herself. When she did, she was certain she looked a lot paler than she had before. She took an unsteady seat in the chair near Isamu’s bed.

“How do you know all of this?” she asked uncertainly.

“Same thing happened the week Misaki’s house burned down. We barely knew each other back then, were probably still in middle school. It always only ever lasts a week. Few days before the event, and a few days after.”

“You can’t mean that tomorrow-”

“There’s no saying for sure. I don’t know it. The doctors don’t know it. But it’s soon. So, Satomi-san, please take care of Shuzo after I’m gone. He’s going to need you.” Satomi closed her eyes for a moment and took a slow, steadying breath, before reaching out and placing a hand on Isamu’s.

“I promise, Tou-san.” The sly smile came back.

“I thought I told you not to call me that if you don’t mean it.”

“Who says I don’t?”

 

**Day 4**

 

“I haven’t gotten anywhere with this,” Shuzo muttered into the phone, and Satomi could hear a pen clicking from his side of the world. Shuzo was definitely frustrated, and that clicking was a sure sign of it. Satomi stifled a yawn as she listened intently. It was getting late, but she knew it was only late afternoon for Shuzo.

“You never did tell me who you were planning to ask about this,” she commented, forcing herself to sit up in bed so she could keep awake. Her attention would suffer in class the next morning, but she didn’t think much of it. It was going to be Friday, and even half her focus was enough to get her through most classes anyway.

“I thought Midorima would-”

“Shintaro-kun? _Why_?” Satomi kept her voice low so as not to awaken anybody else in the house, but her surprise was more than evident in her ton. “He follows Oha Asa, but that doesn’t mean he would know anything about this.”

“It was the only lead I had. Do you know anybody else who would be remotely into this supernatural crap?”

“Language, Shuzo.” There was a huff from the other end of the phone, but Shuzo didn’t argue with her. Satomi was quiet for another moment before she tried to speak again. “I talked to your father yesterday.”

“He’s holding up, right?” There was a slight quiver in the voice Satomi knew as her own, and it made it sound like it wasn’t hers at all.

“He seemed strong yesterday,” she answered. That much, at least, was not a lie. Even through the coughing fits and the weak frame of his body, Isamu’s spirit was still strong. “He knew I wasn’t you from the beginning.”

“What?! How?”

“Apparently I can fool the woman you live with, but not the man whom you take after so much. He knew without me having to say a word. And he knew what all of this was.” Shuzo was silent, waiting with bated breath for Satomi to continue. “It sounds absurd, but he claims this is a rare phenomenon between soul mates.” Even Satomi was impressed with herself for not stumbling over the phrase.

“You believe in that stuff?” Shuzo asked cautiously.

“I didn’t think I did. But new evidence points to the contrary.”

“Well, did he say anything about why this happened? Why now? How the hell does he even know this?”

“It would appear that your parents are very fortunate to have found each other, because your father claims the same thing happened to the two of them, where they traded places for a week. He didn’t say why, only that it lasts a week.” Satomi hated lying to Shuzo, but she didn’t want to think of how Shuzo would react if she told him the real reason. How could she tell him outright that his father was going to die while he was on the opposite side of the world? It didn’t seem right. Better for her to go through the process in his place, and pretend it came as much a surprise to her as it would him.

“That’s crazy,” Shuzo murmured, and Satomi was inclined to agree. The entire situation was rather insane if she thought about it for too long. They were both silent for a few minutes, with nothing but radio static passing between their phones. Then Shuzo spoke up again, his tone making Satomi’s voice softer than she had ever heard it. It sounded like her mother. “So, he says we’re soul mates, huh?” Satomi didn’t bother trying to stop the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“It would appear so. Your father seemed pleased, in his own way.”

“Did he give you a hard time?”

“Only when I didn’t give him an answer he liked.”

“You have a habit of doing that. You dance around questions and sound very noncommittal. Even though you and I both know how strongly you feel about everything.”

“Forgive me for following the model set by my father.”

“I’m just glad I haven’t had to encounter him through this,” Shuzo grumbled.

“As am I, for you sake.”

“That bad, huh? Was he always like that?”

“Always stern, yes. But when Okaa-san was still alive, we were happier. Onii-sama-”

“He’s not your older brother.”

“And I do not appreciate being interrupted,” Satomi countered. “He would play basketball because Okaa-san introduced him to it, and she gave me my love for softball. We had our tutors and lessons as well, but we loved playing music for her. I would be on piano and Seijuro would play violin. And she loved every concert we gave her.”

“You must miss her.”

“All the time.”

 

**Day 5**

 

The moment Satomi was called out of school, before lunch, she just knew. Her heart dropped to her stomach and she found it hard to breathe as she waited in the main office for Misaki to pick her up. There were tear stains on the older woman’s face, and her eyes were red and puffy. They walked to the car in silence. Misaki didn’t even speak before Satomi’s chests started to hurt and she could feel the tears brimming in her own eyes. Misaki reached a hand to draw Satomi’s head nearer and kissed her temple. It was a simple gesture, but it had Satomi covering her face. These were gestures Shuzo should have been receiving. He should have been comforted by his mother as he learned of his father’s passing.

“You siblings don’t know yet. I’m picking them up later,” Misaki said, and Satomi was only grateful that she hadn’t asked for ‘Shuzo’ to be strong for his siblings again. Satomi wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle that with the composure that was expected of her. The rest of the car ride was silent. Satomi stared out the window with disinterest, and found herself thinking that the weather is wholly inappropriate. It was sunny, and the temperature was rather mild for this time of year. Just like when her own mother passed. The rest of the world went about their business as usual when hers had fallen apart the first time. And now, it would do the same while Shuzo’s life fell into shambles around him. And he would be alone in the apartment Satomi lived in Akita. A heavy feeling settled in her gut at the thought of it. She hadn’t been alone when her mother had passed. She’d had Seijuro back then, even if their father was largely unable to provide comfort of any sort. Satomi had held herself with more composure than any twelve-year-old should have, but so did Seijuro. The only time either of them broke was the night after they lost their mother — and again the night of her funeral — when they curled up together in Satomi’s bed and cried late into the night. The house staff had found them that way the next morning, and gently roused them into waking before their father could see the shared weakness of two children in mourning.

As soon as Misaki and Satomi arrived back at the Nijimura household, Satomi excused herself to Shuzo’s room. Misaki didn’t try to stop her. Once safely behind the closed bedroom door, Satomi leaned against the dresser and stared into the mirror. Shuzo’s face looked distraught, and she realized after a moment that she never let her own face show so much emotion. Steel gray eyes glistened with unshed tears, and were slightly swollen. The tip of Shuzo’s nose was red, and Satomi realized that she had seen this face a few times when they would video chat on weekends. The resolution of his webcam never showed the tears, but the rest was familiar from the few occasions she had seen it. Satomi now felt even more guilty for not noticing Shuzo’s pain in the past. She took another moment to compose herself, before reaching into her pocket and calling her own cellphone.

“Mmm’ello?” Satomi’s own voice slurred sleepily. It was early morning on the other side of the world. She hated to have to ruin Shuzo’s day so early, but he deserved to know. “You have bad timing, Satomi.”

“It’s important, Shuzo,” Satomi answered, and her tone was soft. She could hardly remember the last time she’d spoken like this. Perhaps it had been when she was twelve, trying to comfort her younger brother when their mother died. It was five years ago, but it felt like a lifetime. She felt like a different person now, and not just because she was within a different body.

“Don’t do this. Not this early in the morning.” There was shifting on the other side, a click of the bedside lamp, and an unsteady breath. Satomi closed her eyes, wishing she had a way to be with him now. Wishing she didn’t have to be the one to give him this news. Isamu had asked her to take care of his son, but she wasn’t sure how to do that from so far away.

“Shuzo, I want you to go into my closet. On the top shelf, in the back left corner, there’s a box. Take that out.” She waited silently while Shuzo did as she asked. She could hear the shuffling as he struggled to balanced the phone to his cheek while reaching above his head for the box. She knew when he opened it, because he was silent.

“You still have this?” he finally asked.

“You gave it to me. Of course I do.” It was Shuzo’s basketball jersey from when he was in Teiko. Before leaving for America, he had given it to Satomi, claiming he didn’t need it anymore. She never would have admitted it, but it gave her comfort when she felt more alone than she could bear. There was a muffled sound as Shuzo dropped the cell phone, and it landed in the fabric of the jersey. And then Satomi could hear quiet, strangled sobs. That was another sound that was too familiar in her own voice. Satomi couldn’t think of anything to say, but “I love you.”

The sobbing only grew louder.

 

**Day 6**

 

Satomi was thankful for the Saturday. She would have been pulled from classes for bereavement anyway, but she preferred to not have to do that. She had already been pulled out early the day before with the unpleasant news of Isamu’s passing. An extra day without classes before the weekend might have driven her insane. Besides, it gave her ample opportunity and excuse to hole up in Shuzo’s room with his laptop and webcam, and make a video call back to Akita. When Satomi saw her own face on the screen, she was shocked. She’d never seen herself in such disarray before. Her skin looked sickly pale, and her hair was left down. Shuzo didn’t look like he had bothered to do much but change out of pajamas for the day. And even then, he seemed to have chosen clothes with the least amount of effort— a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt so old that Satomi couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if she looked like this back when she had shown up on Shuzo’s doorstep when they were in middle school, the night her brother had changed. Had her face been that pale? Her eyes that lifeless? Satomi placed a pair of headphones over her ears, and waited for Shuzo to speak.

“It’s not fair,” he finally murmured after a full five minutes of silence, and it sounded pitiful with Satomi’s voice. She only nodded her head in silence. There was no denying that the situation was unfair. She’d been saying as much from the beginning. Isamu had reminded her that _life_ wasn’t fair, but it didn’t seem appropriate to tell Shuzo this at the moment. “Did you see him, before?”

“No,” she answered. “I was in school when he passed. I’m sorry.”

“So the last time you saw him was two days before he died?”

“I visited briefly the day before. I didn’t want to tell you.”

“ _Why_?!”

“Because he seemed unwell. When I spoke to him on Wednesday, he was stronger. Thursday, he wasn’t the same. He called me by your name in front of your mother, but as soon as she left, he reminded me to…” Satomi trailed off, unwilling to finish the statement.

“To what?”

“To take care of you when he was gone. He knew he was nearing the end.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“Would it have changed anything?” Satomi asked, now genuinely curious. Telling Shuzo that his father was so near death wouldn’t have helped matters. Isamu would still have passed away, Shuzo would still be in Japan — in Satomi’s body — and Satomi would still be in America, pretending to be her supposed soul mate in front of his family. An angry expression fell across Shuzo’s face, which transferred interestingly on Satomi’s features. The pallor faded away to give life to a faint red tinge between the eyes and part of the forehead. It look wholly out of place with Satomi’s already red eyes and hair, but she didn’t say a word. She knew one of Shuzo’s tirades coming when she saw it.

“I don’t know, Satomi. But maybe it might have helped! Have you thought at all what this is like for me? My dad just died, and I’m stuck here! The whole reason I _left_ the basketball team was to take care of my family, and I can’t even be there to do that!”

“Every day,” Satomi interjected before Shuzo could go too far. “I have spent every single day since I awoke in your bedroom thinking of how this might be for you. And how I shouldn’t be here.”

“You’re damn right, you shouldn’t. I’m the man of the house now. It’s my job to take care of them.”

“You father seemed to disagree. I have spent the past five days bargaining with all the gods I don’t believe in, telling them that they are wrong for sending me here. That _you_ belong here, with your family. But now I realize that Tou-san was right.” Shuzo’s jaw fell slack.

“What did you just call him?” It was barely a whisper, but it rang loudly in Satomi’s ears. She gave him a soft, barely-there smile. It wasn’t a slip of the tongue, like the first time she had called Shuzo by his given name.

“I mean it, Shuzo.” The glare she received was a surprise.

“How _dare_ you?! My father is _nothing_ like yours! How could you even make that comparison! And what do you mean, he was right? About what? That I shouldn’t be there with my family?! Just because your father fucked everything up for you doesn’t mean that mine would!” Satomi didn’t say a word. She merely waited until Shuzo’s breathing had returned to something close to normal. A wet droplet fell onto the back of her hand, and she quickly brushed away the tear streak that was on her face.

“I only meant that you needed the chance to grieve in your own time, without the added weight of your mother and siblings’ grief on your shoulders. You don’t have to bear the weight alone. _That_ is why I am here now, I’ve realized. You’re being given the chance to mourn your father without any other responsibilities. You can remain in my apartment and feign illness for the weekend, if you need. I can be here for both you and your family. It isn’t the first time I’ve done this. And for the record, I was not comparing your father to mine. Yours has earned my respect, rather than demand it.” Shuzo stared in stunned silence for a moment, and then covered his face with a hand. Satomi watched as a few more fresh tears fell from behind that hand, but she didn’t make any comment on them. “Your father loves you.”

“Shouldn’t that be in the past-tense?” Shuzo muttered. “You’re always so particular about speech.”

“A parent’s love doesn’t leave just because they are no longer with us. My mother is in every softball game I play, in every lullaby I would catch Onii-sama playing on violin when I lived at home, and in every rare but genuine compliment my father manages to give. Your father will be with you as well. You just need to know where to look for him.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“I accept your apology.” Shuzo gave a weak, humorless laugh before uncovering his face. Satomi never liked the look of her own face when she cried. She always thought that the flush it gave her clashed with her hair and eyes, just like with her anger. It left the rest of her looking washed out, and she hated showing any sort of disorder in her life. Her father would never have let her get away with it. Her brother wouldn’t, now that he’d changed.

“How did you do it? When your mother passed? You were only a kid, right?”

“I was twelve, and I had Onii… I mean, I had Seijuro.” Despite the way Shuzo would always interrupt Satomi to point out that Seijuro _wasn’t_ her older brother, he understood the distinction. ‘Onii-sama’ was the person he’d become after his near-defeat to Murasakibara in Teiko, the same night Satomi had kissed Shuzo for the first time. ‘Seijuro’ was her brother as she remembered him, and as Shuzo remembered him, as his Vice-Captain in the basketball team. “We were both mature for our ages, of course, but the loss of a parent still stings the same. We had each other to lean on then, and neither of us was forced to carry the burden of all the grief.”

“I still don’t see why that means I have to be away from my family right now.”

“Because they rely so much on you. I told you, Shuzo. You need to mourn your own loss, before you can carry the grief of your family. Your mother has asked me repeatedly, thinking I’m you, to be strong for your siblings.”

“They’re probably a wreck,” Shuzo admitted.

“Chihiro insisted on sleeping with me last night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Seijuro and I did the same thing after Okaa-san’s funeral.”

“How do you do it, Satomi? How do you get over the death of a parent?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I don’t think you can. You just learn to hold their memory dear until that is what soothes the pain of their absence.”

 

**Day 7**

 

Two scenes played out before Satomi, and she found herself unable to focus on one of them at a time, despite her best efforts. She was standing in a somber building with ornate marble everywhere around her. It felt dark and barren.

 _She was sitting on her knees before an altar with flowers and her mother’s picture on it_.

Only a few people were present and stood around her, with Misaki and Shuzo’s two younger siblings closest to her. Everyone was speaking softly, offering their condolences to the Nijimura family for their loss. Most all of them spoke English, though that was never any surprise.

_The courtyard was filled with people Satomi had never met personally, but had seen on a number of occasions. They were all businessmen who knew or worked with her father. She was seated beside him, with Seijuro on her other side. All three of them had their backs ramrod straight, as mourners filed in and bowed quietly to give their condolences. One could hear a pin drop, as nobody spoke a word._

A man with some sort of religious authority — Satomi wasn’t sure what — gave a speech. He didn't speak Japanese, and it didn't sound like the traditional Buddhist funeral ceremony she was familiar with. She wondered if the Nijimura’s had adopted the American practice for funeral rights.

_Incense was offered and the Buddhist priest began chanting. Satomi didn't think their family ever adhered strictly to any one religion — her father too busy on work and her mother too busy loving her children to push either Satomi or Seijuro in one direction or another. But then, she figured it didn't really matter. Funeral rights should have all been relatively the same, in theory. Bless the deceased, offer them safe passage into the next stage, whatever that may be._

After the man finished speaking, a few words were said by the strangers. Satomi assumed they are friends of Isamu’s that he had made in his time in America. The men choked up a bit on their words, overtaken by their own emotions. Misaki tried to speak of her husband— her soul mate— but ultimately was unable to as she broke into sobs. Satomi didn't say anything. There were no words she could possibly give. After the ceremony, the guests offered their condolences again, and Isamu’s casket was closed to prepare for his cremation.

_Nobody spoke besides the priest with his chanting. Nobody cried aloud, despite the fact that her mother had been the most loving person she knew. All these people, and not a one shed a tear. She could feel her own eyes stinging, but didn’t move to swipe at them. Her father would have been cross if she broke her composure, and she didn’t want to upset him. The priest gave her mother an elaborate kaimyō, one that she would later learn came for a very handsome price. She never figured out how to properly say it, even after reading the kanji. She preferred to refer to her mother as ‘Okaa-san’ anyway. The funeral service ended, flowers were placed around her mother’s body, and it was placed in a hearse to go to the crematorium. And that was the last she ever saw of her mother._

Two very similar situations, with very different details. Satomi found herself overwhelmed with emotion as she walked out of the funeral party with the rest of the Nijimura family. She continued to brush a hand over her eyes when the tears threatened to fall. After all, Misaki had requested she put on a brave face for the younger two. But it was all over now. By her estimation, this was the final day she would be in Shuzo’s body, according to what Isamu had told her. Part of her wished she could stay longer, to keep helping Misaki and the children grieve. To keep Shuzo from having to bear the burden on his own. But she knew that wouldn’t be fair to him, either. He needed his family. He’d had a few days to mourn on his own. He would be able to shoulder their grief without breaking underneath the weight of it all. And when she climbed into bed that night, her heart felt lighter than it had all week, despite having spent much of the day at a funeral. She sent Shuzo one final text before going to bed, asking him to give his family her regards and condolences for her.

When she awoke in the morning, she was in her own bed, and there was a text message on her phone.

 _'Thank you for everything_.'

 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I don't even care how pissy people might be with this OC. I enjoy writing with her. And I LOVE how this fic turned out. So I've posted it.
> 
> Unbeta'd so if there are any tense errors (as I noticed I kept switching to present-tense on accident), please let me know! I tried to catch them all, but some probably slipped through the cracks.


End file.
